Laura

Today I am writing about a staff name Laura that I meant in the independent program that I am in. Since I been in this program I have not really liked any other the staff like I do with Laura. She is my role model. I admire her a lot, she makes me happy every time I see her and talk to her on the phone. Laura is the only one that I can talk to about anything. I am so glad that I meant her. She made me and other in the program feel amazing to be round her and talk to her. Laura brighten my day. She would be the the only reason why I would wake up and go to program in the morning. If she wasn't there I wouldn't want to go, I just wanted to stay in the apartment and sleep. When she there and they don't do groups she would make it fun that we didn't have groups. like I didn't care if we did not have groups. If Laura wasn't then it gets boring real fast nothing to do beside sit there on our phones. Laura is the most amazing wonderful person that I meant in this stupid program. As I write this blog for her I'm smiling that's how much I care about her.   

My new place

Hello everyone I know I have not been on my blogs for a while. I was in the hospital and plus getting ready to move into my new place that I will be sharing bc its a program to learn how to be independent. The place is amazing and I can't wait to move in, hopefully it will be this week cross your figures. I took a tour of the place on Wednesday, the place look like a hotel. I was so excited, this is going to be a new chapter in my life. It's going to be a new me, not the old me, not the present me, not the future me, just the new me. A 100% different person. The new me and life is going to be all positive no negative. I will put pictures up when I move into my place. 

I can't believe that this is happening, I thought it would be a a little longer, but it happen fast which is good.   

Jenny and Papas

Good evening everyone today blog is going to be about my sister Jenny and her son Jeremiah (Papas). My sister is the most amazing sister I could ever ask for. she took care of me like I was her daughter. Jenny makes smile n laugh all the time. I couldn't asks for anything better. When we hang out it's like we not sister were friends that forever together no matter if we are near or far. Doing thing with my sister is much fun. I lov it, it's joy to my heart. Cooking with my sister is fun too bc I learn how to make new n different types of food. Having a sister in my life is the most blessing to my soul and heart. The other most blessing part is when she told me that she was having a kid, my nephew Jeremiah aka Papas. The first time I held him in my arms it brought tears and happiness to my heart and soul. My papas is one of the reason why I want to get better besides me wanting it to get better. I say that bc I don't want him to see me in  DOWN WORD SPIRAL and my scars n cuts. I don't want him to live the way I am right now. July 11 my papas will be 4 years old, he is growing up so fast. I look at my sister pics on facebook of papas from baby till now and it puts me in joyfully tears everyday. My sister Jenny and my papas Jeremiah is my heart and soul and nothing will change that or take that away from me. 

Mommy Purple

    This is a continue of the other blog about Mrs.Greene. I just want to start off by saying that I never meant someone so special to me in my life until I meant mommy Greene. When I left her I took a part of her with me and left a part of me with her. Mommy is the most amazing mommy ever had. I truly miss and lov her. I say Mommy Greene because I call her mommy, but  I first meant her I called her Mrs.Greene then I start calling her mommy. So I put them two together. But I am thinking of changing to Mommy Purple because purple is our favorite color. When I was in the cottage and I was hanging out with her while she sat on the coach and I sat on the floor putting my head on her knees it was magical. It made me feel special and happy very much. Being around Mommy was amazing I was in a peaceful happy place by being next to her or around her. Everyday when mommy came to it always put a smile on my face. it made me know that mommy is a very special and close to my heart.

     One day I was in the hospital and I called mommy and when we was about to hang up she said I love you at first I didn't hear her, so I thought about it all day then the next day I called her asked mommy did you say I love you to me yesterday she said yes. It made my heart melt into tears. Ever since then we both say I LOVE YOU like mother and daughter. It really warms my heart up. When I left it was really hard because I got so close to mommy that I did not want to leave at all for any reason what so ever. But even though I left I still call her from where I am or was. I always think of mommy and the times we hanged out and it always made my day brighter. Just recently we became friends on Facebook and instagram, I share a lot on her wall mostly thing that are purple and make college of us on purple background and of her family. I text her on instagram and send her pictures too. I always say good morning and tell her have a wonderful day. Mommy is the most wonderful amazing person in my life and I wouldn't change that for anyone or anything in the world. Mommy makes me see the beautiful in me that I can't see some times. I love mommy so much with all my heart nothing will change that and forever.

Mommy u are the most gorgeous person in my life. Lov u always and forever.

Who am I

For years I been asking myself this one question who am I well the truth is i'm that same girl that I was when I was a little kid, just with some new things in my life that makes it better or bad. But with the bad u can make it good u never change it u just make it good. That little girl is still in me. I will always be her. I'm the one with a mental illness the one that was in school in a class for people that didn't really know a lot n that was not really like normal learning level but no matter where I was that was normal for me because that is who I am. I don't care that I have scars or that I might go crazy some times or that I don't know lot like others might. what I do know is that I am who I am a girl with a mental illness, a victim, a special ed girl, n a cutter. Plus a girl that was in foster care. I been trying to find who I am for so long that I didn't know that she has been right here a long with me helping me with my life a long with the people that care n love me. This person I am is never going to change. I am happy the way I am n who I am. I am prefect in my own ways.

If u wonder who u r well look in the mirror because that is who u r no one can take that away or change that for u. U may say or think that u r different then what u r in the mirror or to others but ur not. U will always be who u r no matter how much u like it or don't like it. This took me a really long time to figure who I am but I realized that I was right here this is who I am. the one that is writing this blog the who loves to help others before myself the one who will drop what she is doing just to see if everything is ok. I always said I want to help myself first but I know that is not going to change because by helping someone before me makes me realize that I am helping myself a long with someone else at the same time it makes me feel really good. It show me that there is more to this world then negative. It helps brings out the positive in u n the other person.

THANK U

Hello everyone I just wanted to tell u all that I just find out that I am on the graduating list to graduate this June n I am so happy. I want to thank the people who helped me get to this point in my life, for being there to show not to give up on graduating, n for believing in me n making me believe in myself. This is the biggest time in my life for me since 8th grade. The people I want to thank is my mom, my sister Jenny, my brother Moe, Mrs. Greene, Amy, Mrs. Smith, all my teachers that I have n had in my life, the schools that I have been in, n the my best friends in the would thank u all so much for being part of my life n helping to be who I am today. I can not wait to cross that stage n finial be class of 2015. I am so happy n hyper.

THANK U ALL AGAIN FOR EVEYTHING

Mrs. Greene (MOMMY)

Hello everyone today my blog is about someone special that is in my life that I lov to call mom. I lov to call her mom bc one she has a special place I my heart and always will, two I felt that she was there for me more then my real mom is even though I was not in JCCA for a long time, three the first time she told me I LOV U it brought tears to my eyes and I felt that lov so much more then I do with my real mom saying it to me. Her name is Mrs. Greene (nickname Mrs. Purple) her favorite color. She is a worker at JCCA a group home that I used to be in. 

When I first meet her I thought I was in the military then a group home, I spend time with her the first day I meant her while the other girls went to school. I found out that she loves the color purple by one my stuff animal that I had that was purple, and two her hair is purple. That day on she was a special role model, admirer, and the most wonderful person that I meant in JCCA. I would only really talk to her about anything, I would sit on the floor next to her while she was on the couch (the staff had their own couch n we couldn't sit on it) and put my head on her knee (sometimes I would fall asleep on her knee), while Mrs. Greene was working she would let me wear her jewelry, and then I started calling her mom. Mrs. Greene made me feel special even when I didn't deserver to feel that way at all. she brighten my heart and soul. She made me realize that even though my family doesn't really care, she does and that I have other people in this world that care and is their for me even if my family is not. 

When I left JCCA it made me very sad bc I grow really really close to Mrs. Greene, I also took a part of her with me and I never let it go. Even though I left I still stay in contact with her I call her once or twice a week and text her on instgram. Also even though I can't see her she is a piece of my heart that will never break no matter wat. I miss her everyday but I  lov her n always will. Thank u Mrs. Greene for being there for me n still being here for my I lov n miss u so much with all my heart. I think of mommy all the time and when I do I smile with sadness, my smile with sadness is because she is in my heart and soul and I want spend time with I really miss doing that so much. I get so emotional but it always puts a smile on my face even if I can't see her and all I do is think about her. My mommy my joy n pride my heart and soul.

From: Stephanie Rodriguez

I HOPE U ALL ENOYED READING MY BLOG! THANK U